If/when I get a good night’s sleep then _____
If when I get a new boss or job then _____
If/when I have one free day to myself then _____
If/when I get married, or have a baby then _____
The biggest problem with hanging my happiness and contentment on ifs and whens is that, well, they are ifs and whens.
I can remember getting on that train in how I viewed my daughter’s developmental stages. Here’s where I boarded: If/when she sleeps through the night, when she isn’t a terrible two, when she’s potty trained, when she isn’t a sullen middle schooler, when she graduates… At each developmental station I realized the trip wasn’t over. Where and when would I get to disembark?
You get it. You wake up and what you thought would translate into happiness, or contentment doesn’t materialize. Happiness heads out the door and disappointment, resentment, apathy, or just general apathy fill the open space.
Why? Happiness is based on expectations we think will fill us up. When things are going great, we’re happy and the cup seems full. When things aren’t going so great, we’re unhappy or discontented and the gauge is heading toward empty.
Joy and contentment are altogether different. They aren’t dependent on the ‘if and when’. They are actually in spite of them. Isn’t there usually something negative playing in the background that we have joy and contentment in spite of?
Ifs and whens are joy robbers. One thing I’ve found that stops them from sneaking in the back door is turning my complaints into prayers for a broader perspective. Living in the tension, I’m thankful for what God’s doing in me in the process.
I Timothy 6:6
Godliness with contentment is great gain. (NIV)
